The Adventures of Superior Man and Lesser Girl

So, I gave the guy EmoBoy’s soul, but unfortunately I could only find PART of his soul so the picky fellow said he could only give me back my Georgie as a vampire fish. So I told him that was a bit annoying but okay. So he took the peice of soul and stuck it in a box and then he stuck Georgie in the box, then he killed some virgins and poured their blood onto the box. Then he took Georgie out and handed him to me, and he looked kinda funny. Then he bit me. That seemed to cheer him up quite a bit, and even though I felt pretty woozy afterwards I was pleased to have my friend back, even if he is kind of bity and over-emotional now.

All in all, a definate success.

You know who else has no words? George the purple fish! CAUSE HE’S DEAD AND I KILLED HIM!!!!!!!!!

This is the worst day of my life.

However I was talking to this cool dude with flaming eyes and a big cape and he was all like “Y’know, I’ll give you back your Georgie if you bring me EmoBoy’s soul,” and I was like “Really? Sweet deal! I wonder where he keeps it?”

And yeah, EmoBoy, just to make this easier for everyone could you just hand it over now please? Thanks, you’re the best.

WHAT THE FUCK?

I… I have no words.

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.

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This isn’t funny.

Today I ate Shirley the squid by accident. I was swimming along with my mouth open to blow bubbles and… whoops in she went! Then she started screaming and I started screaming and bit her by accident and then she was dead, so I ate her cause waste is bad.

This is just the sort of time that I would REALLY like George to chat too about how shocking it is to accidentally eat a friend, but he is too busy being stinky in my pocket to talk to me.

What a day.

EmoBoy said I was stinky today which sucked cause I have been all lonely and stuff cause Sharkie has been ignoring me lately, so I went to talk to Harry the Hermit (crab) and I was all like remember George, and he was like “yeah Good Times”. Then I told him that George was purple and he was like “yeah, no shit”. And then I told him I fed George to Sharkie and now Sharkie was ignoring me and I was bored, and he was all like “you bitch” and I didn’t think that was very nice. So then I decided I could get him to help me with something, cause, you know, his claws are pretty sharp. So I got the octopus (he does whatever I say the annoying little suck) to hold down Sharkie while Harry cut his tummy open and I looked for George. Sharkie was not too impressed but I told him it was kind of like giving birth and he thought that was sort of neat I think cause he stopped twitching so much. So we found George, well or parts of George anyhow and we sewed up Sharkie and I gave him the octopus to eat as a special treat cause I was so happy to see George, and I forgot that Sharkie had been ignoring me). I think George is still pissed at me though, cause he doesn’t say much, Harry said it was cause he was dead, but that’s just cause Harry’s jealous, silly thing. So I keep George in my pocket now so he will be able to talk to me as soon as he stops being so pissy.

Mother dear, I
can’t finish my weaving
You may
blame Aphrodite

soft as she is

she has almost
killed me with
love for that boy.

~ Sappho
(Translated by Mary Barnard)

I thought an octopus would know better. But it looks like he really loved me, poor thing. It really broke his heart I think when I told him it was over, that it was just a fling, that I just didn’t feel that way about him.

Who would have thought when he was looking so cool and detached that night in the kelp forest that he would be such a suck. I think it was the neediness that just made him so unappealing in the end, no-one and I mean NO-ONE can be clingy like an octopus can when it is feeling emotionally vulnerable. So after I pried him off my throat I told him in no uncertain terms that I was not into the needy type.

Well that is octopi for you (avoid them at all costs).

Not like anything I ever write is related to the strip anyways.

You know what pisses me off? People who get really down on China for their environmental record. Yeah, so it’s brutal, yeah, so it’s scary, yeah and it is merely another thing that China does that’s kinda groetesque (its human rights record, its treatment of Tibet, its relations with Taiwan, etc), but come on, was Europe much better during its own industrial revolution? It feels so fucking duplicitous, Yeah, we didn’t pay attention to the environmental impact of our actions while we were creating the necessary infrastructure and wealth necessary for the functioning of a prosperous modern economy but you do when going through the exact same process. The logical solution, if we in the western world really want the developping world or the newly industrialised world to be kind to the environment, we should subsidise their environmentally friendly methods. But cross-country payments like that? Those are only acceptable when the debt payments paid to you outweigh them*.

And, really, are we so much better? The average energy and resources that goes into a North American or European is leagues larger than the average Chinese. And alot of the scary phrases that come out of China are almost verbatim things said in England during the industrial revolution, such as “The river runs black”. And we’re alot more scumbaggy about our environmental impact, amounting to Yeah, we could be environmentally responsible, but it would be a little more expensive, and even though I could easily afford it, I won’t. So you’ll pay 5-10 bucks for a beer at a bar but you chafe at an extra, what, 15% for organic food**? Pardon me, but fuck you. The chinese, on the other hand are faced with the decision of a) competitive advantage and environmental devastation or b) no competitive advantage. Everything is made in China because they chinse on environmental, labour, etc considerations. That makes it cheaper, because it’s paid for in nonmonetary ways.

And things are even changing. Labour costs continue to rise in China and their competitive advantage is slowly wittling away. Yeah, so they still make everything from trainers to cellos for way cheaper than anyone else, but the cost is going up. And environmentalism is a luxury good, which means they’ll start consuming it soon enough.

* That’s another rant
** Which isn’t even sustainable, but its way less desctructive than the crap you eat.